The Ways in Which I Will Love You

reblogged from thoughtcatalog.com

I will love you with everything I have. I may never be able to tell you how I feel, but I will love you with a heart possessed of lunatic fervency regardless. I will love you wildly and I will love you deeply. I will love you bodily. I will love you in a way that clicks in every step I take on the pavement, in a way that relieves me every time I scratch an itch, in a way that bounces back unruly every time I brush a fly away hair from my face. I will love you so much that some part of me will love you forever.

I will love you like family. I will love you unconditionally, and not just because you love me unconditionally. I will love you because of the years we’ve spent cradled in each other’s warm embraces, in each other’s tears and in each other’s laughter. I will love you so much I will challenge your perception of me everyday, and your understanding and persistence will make me love you more. I will love in a way that renders me silent when I want to scream; I will be stoic and hard when you need me to be, and I will never complain. I will be all the things you want me to be, and I will never fail to find my way to your side when you are calling for me. I will protect you with the violence of a madman, and I will willingly, nay, happily die for you, if only to see you smile. My heart will beat for you every single day, and even when we’re miles apart, I will love you unfalteringly. Sometimes, I will cry because I love you so much.

I will love you because I have to. Even though I don’t know you very well, you are part of me. Your blood is pulsing crimson in my veins; your small feet live tellingly at the ends of my short legs, which I believe are yours too. I will love you just as intensely as I would love anyone else, because you are my history. Without you I would not be me, and I will love you for that. I will love you mildly, rationally, and from a distance. But I will love you; in away that is less about you and more about us.

I will love you recklessly. I will love every little detail of you, the enlarged pores on your nose, the sprinkle of freckles across your cheek and the way you push your lips together and inhale deeply as you break in your storytelling. I will love you so much I will drink these details as though they were gloriously intoxicating, and I will etch them out in my mind and play them back to myself like old record when you’re gone. I will commit myself to you wholly; I will let you possess me. I will love you in such a way that parts of me will become you and I will hold on to those parts as though they were secrets whispered in gold.

I will love you as though you were the only person I’d ever loved. I will love you intensely, I will throw myself around you recklessly and if you love me back I will be humbled. I will love you so much I will try to be a better person every day. I will work harder, smile more, love better—all because of you. Despite this, the way I love you will be effortless, it will fit me like my summer skin, glowing in your presence. I will love you boundlessly and unselfishly, and my love will not be metered by your love for me. I will love you irrespective of everything.

I will love you fleetingly. I will love you in my bed for one night; I will love you for a few short days in Paris or a week in London. I will love you sitting on my stoop one drunken night. I will love you even if I never see you again, and I will love you just as passionately as I’ve ever loved, if only for a moment. I’ll recall you tenderly in the stories I will tell for the rest of my life, and I will love you retrospectively. I will love you like a ghost, like a flower that has bloomed and died; I will love you with an inconceivable abandon. I will love you as achingly and deeply as I can in the short amount of time we’ve been allotted.

I will love you in all these ways because I can. I will love you because it’s lovely to love you. I will love you because whether you are my mother, my best friend, the love of my life or a one-night stand, I think you’re perfect. I will love you because you’ve made my life more wonderful by simply being it. I will love you because I don’t know what else to do, and I don’t know if there is another name for this feeling, or if I really want there to be another name for it. I will love you because there isn’t enough love in the everyday. I will love you because I love loving, and because you deserve to be loved

Cursor Warrior

Pernah denger game Cursor Warrior? Atau bahkan ada yang pernah mainin? Wajar kalo belom pernah. Justru gue yang kaget kalo ada orang yang pernah main game ini. Karena game ini emang belum pernah dipublikasikan sebelumnya. Cursor Warrior merupakan sebuah game yang dibuat oleh seorang pemuda ganteng nan kreatif yang bernama Bumi Hera Rihlatu sewaktu masih SMP *masang kacamata item* *benerin kerah*.
Mungkin kalian pernah denger pepatah “Don’t judge a book by it’s cover”. Nah, pepatah itu berlaku disini. Jangan harap game ini adalah game-game pertarungan samurai hanya karena covernya, dan jangan harap juga game ini adalah game perang kayak Dynasty Warrior hanya karena judulnya hampir mirip. Game ini jauuuhhh lebih...
jelek. Maklum, game ini cuma dibuat dari power point. Apalagi gue buatnya juga waktu masih SMP. Jadi pantes lah kalo agak jelek (sebenernya sih jelek banget). Tapi game ini lumayan asik dimainin kok. Jadi, pada game ini, kita harus mengendalikan cursor untuk bisa mengambil beberapa item dan memasangkannya dengan item lain yang sesuai. Tapi kita harus berhati-hati dalam menggerakkan cursornya karena ruang geraknya terbatas. Selain itu ada juga beberapa penghalang yang cukup mengganggu.

Game ini mempunyai tingkat kesulitan yang lumayan tinggi dan terdiri dari 4 tingkat. Mungkin di tingkat 1 dan 2 masih bisa dilewati dengan mudah. Tapi pas tingkat 3 dan 4, pasti kalian akan kesulitan. Bahkan gue sendiri, yang notabene pembuat game ini, juga kesulitan.
Ini nih beberapa skrinsutnya...

kalo cursornya nyenggol garis item atau penghalang, maka bomnya akan meledak...

Dan kalo ada yang penasaran mau main game ini, bisa download disini Game Cursor Warrior.pps

Friday the 13th

Banyak orang yang percaya, terutama orang luar negri, kalo hari Jumat tanggal 13 adalah hari yang menakutkan. Katanya sih akan banyak kesialan yang akan kita alami pada hari itu. Mulai dari kecelakaan kecil sampe yang paling parah yaitu kematian. Maka ga heran kalo ada orang yang bela-belain ga berangkat ke kantor ataupun sekolah gara-gara takut. Bahkan ada juga orang yang sampe phobia sama Friday the 13th yang biasa disebut Paraskavedekatriaphobia atau ada juga yang menyebut Friggatriskaidekaphobia (ribet amat sih namanya... ==a).

Selama ini sih gue ga pernah percaya ama hal begituan. Karena gue pikir kesialan itu bisa terjadi kapan aja. Jadi ga perlu lah kita takut sama satu hari tertentu aja. Tapi kayaknya kepercayaan gue tentang mistisnya Friday the 13th mulai tumbuh sedikit demi sedikit setelah apa yang gue alamin kemarin. Hari Jumat, tanggal 13 Mei, 2011. Mungkin hari itu adalah hari yang paling tidak mengenakkan dalam hidup gue. Karena ngga tau kenapa, tiba-tiba gue mendapatkan kesialan bertubi-tubi. Gue seperti terkena kutukan Friday The 13th.

Semuanya bermula saat gue baru aja pulang sholat Jumat. Cuaca kemaren jam 12.30 emang lagi panas-panasnya. Jadi ga heran kalo gue sampe di rumah dalam keadaan yang super haus. Maka segeralah gue menuju kulkas buat nyari sesuatu yang seger-seger. Dan kebetulan, ternyata lagi ada coca cola di dalem kulkas. Tanpa pikir panjang, gue pun langsung buka dan habisin minuman ini tanpa rasa curiga sedikit pun. Tapi, beberapa saat kemudian gue ngerasa ada yang aneh sama perut gue. Perut gue jadi agak mules dan agak mual. Awalnya sih gue biarin aja karena gue pikir ini gejala PMS. Tapi kok lama-lama jadi tambah ga enak. Terus gue juga sadar kalo...
Gue kan COWOK...! Jadi ga mungkin lah gue PMS...?!

“Trus gara-gara apaan nih? Apa gara-gara coca cola yang barusan gue minum ya?” Tanya gue dalam hati.

Karena curiga, gue pun ngecek kaleng coca cola yang kebetulan belum gue buang dan masih nangkring di atas meja. Gue liat-liat apa ada yang bagian yang bocor atau rusak. Tapi setelah gue liat berkali-kali ternyata ga ada yang salah sama kaleng itu. Semuanya masih dalam keadaan bagus. Akhirnya gue memberanikan diri buat ngeliat tanggal kadaluwarsa yang ada di bagian bawah kaleng itu. Dan setelah gue liat, ternyata tanggal kadaluwarsanya adalah...
11 Mei 2011...!

JEGERR...!!

Sialan, pantes aja rasanya agak asem-asem gimana gitu.
Walaupun baru kadaluwarsa beberapa hari yang lalu, tapi tetep aja gue panik. Gue ga mau lah mati konyol gara-gara keracunan coca cola. Maka dari itu, buat mengantisipasi kemungkinan terburuk, gue langsung bikin susu anget yang katanya bisa menetralisir racun. Untungnya setelah minum itu, perut gue jadi agak mendingan. Dan daripada nanti malah tambah mual lagi, gue pun memutuskan buat tidur. Gue juga udah pasrah kalo pas bangun nanti tiba-tiba gue udah ada di surga. Semoga aja sih ngga.

Gue bangun sekitar jam 4. Alhamdulillah gue masih ada di kamar, bukan di surga. Dan ternyata sakit perut gue juga udah sembuh. Tapi sekarang malah gantian kepala yang pusing gara-gara kelamaan tidur. Gue pikir kesialan gue akan berhenti sampai disini, tapi ternyata ngga, kesialan gue masih terus berlanjut.

Sehabis Maghrib, gue mau menanak nasi karena udah laper banget. Maklum, dari tadi siang gue belum makan. Dan gue emang lagi sendirian di rumah, jadi harus masak sendiri kalo mau makan. Tapi saat mau masang magic jar ke colokan listrik, tiba-tiba...
PET...!
Listrik di rumah gue mati.

Keren kan? Udah sendirian di rumah, perut lagi laper banget, dan listriknya, mati. Mana di luar lagi hujan lagi. Jadi ga bisa keluar buat beli makanan. Ya udah deh, daripada mati kelaperan, mending gue bikin indomie aja. Tapi ternyata saudara-saudara, setelah gue liat di lemari makanan, persediaan indomie di rumah gue juga lagi habis...!

Gue bener-bener depresi berat saat itu. Mungkin kalo ada baygon di rumah, udah gue habisin deh tuh.

Sekitar jam 9, listriknya udah nyala lagi. Tapi entah kenapa, mungkin gara-gara kesel sama hari ini, rasa lapar di perut gue hilang tak berbekas. Padahal gue cuman minum milo dan ngemil keripik singkong pas mati lampu tadi. Nah, karena ga ada kerjaan di rumah, gue pun nyalain tv. Tapi baru beberapa menit tv nyala, listriknya mati lagi...! *nangis di bawah shower*
Oke, gue bener-bener udah ga bisa ngomong apa-apa lagi. Pengen marah tapi ngga tau marah sama siapa. Pengen nonjok orang tapi lagi ga ada orang di rumah. Perasaan gue juga udah uring-uringan banget. Akhirnya gue mutusin buat tidur aja untuk menghentikan segala kesialan ini dan daripada nanti gue malah jadi gila.

Yah, gue emang lagi sial banget kemarin. Sekarang gue cuma bisa berdoa, semoga aja gue ga ngalamin kejadian yang serupa pada Friday the 13th yang akan datang. Dan gue juga cuma mau bilang selamat hari Friday the 13th bagi yang merayakannya (seperti gue). T.T

Mayday Parade - Miserable At Best

Katie, don't cry, I know
You're trying your hardest
And the hardest part is letting go
Of the nights we shared
Ocala is calling and you know it's haunting
But compared to your eyes, nothing shines quite as
bright
And when we look to the sky, its not mine, but i want
it so

Let's not pretend like you're alone tonight
(I know he's there and)
You're probably hanging out and making eyes
(while across the room, he stares)
I bet he gets the nerve to walk the floor
And ask my girl to dance, she'll say yes

Because these words were never easier for me to say
Or her to second guess
But I guess
That I can live without you but
Without you I'll be miserable at best

You're all that I hoped I'd find
In every single way
And everything I would give
Is everything you couldn't take
Cause nothing feels like home, you're a thousand miles
away
And the hardest part of living
Is just taking breaths to stay

'Cause I know I'm good for something
I just haven't found it yet
But I need it

So, let's not pretend like you're alone tonight
(I know he's there and)
You're probably hanging out and making eyes
(while across the room, he stares)
I bet he gets the nerve to walk the floor
And ask my girl to dance, she'll say yes

Because these words were never easier for me to say
Or her to second guess
But I guess
That I can live without you but
Without you I'll be miserable at best

ladada ladadaaa ladada laa ohh


And this will be the first time in a week
That I'll talk to you
And I can't speak
It's been three whole days since I've had sleep
'Cause I dream of his lips on your cheek
And I got the point that I should leave you alone
But we both know I'm not that strong
And I miss the lips that made me fly

So let's not pretend that you're alone tonight
(I know he's there and)
You're probably hanging out and making eyes
(while across the room, he stares)
I bet he gets the nerve to walk the floor
And ask my girl to dance, she'll say yes

Because these words were never easier for me to say
Or her to second guess
But I guess
That I can live without you but
Without you I'll be miserable
And I can live without you
But without you I'll be miserable
And I can live without you but
Oh, without you I'll be miserable at best